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2JP Home > Pop Quizzes > How Filthy Are You? Quiz

How Filthy Are You? Quiz

    Think you're pretty filthy, huh? Well, just how filthy are you? Take our test and find out! (Answer all questions honestly, but remember that a truly filthy person will cheat.)


1. I think fruits and vegetables are:

a. Best when grown organically and eaten raw.
b. A boring but necessary part of a healthy diet.
c. Obscene.

2. My firstborn son is or will be named:

a. Braeden.
b. Michael.
c. Noodles.

3. I like to shoot:

a. Pool, at the upscale billiards lounge.
b. Ducks, during hunting season.
c. Liquid eyeliner, into my veins.

4. My basement is full of:

a. Last season's clothes in garment bags.
b. Junk in cardboard boxes.
c. Pregnant girls in chains.

5. I would make a special trip to see:

a. The latest works by a promising artist.
b. Prizewinning pies at the county fair.
c. Actual queers kissing.

6. My underpants are:

a. Fancy.
b. Plain.
c. Skid-marked.

7. My favourite birthday gift is a bottle of:

a. Liquor.
b. Liniment.
c. Lice medicine.

8. My mother lives in a:

a. Condo in Florida.
b. Bungalow in the suburbs.
c. Playpen in a trailer.

9. My most embarrassing moment was:

a. Messing up a presentation at work.
b. Forgetting my lines in the school play.
c. Being raped by a giant lobster.

10. The ideal outfit to wear to a trial is a:

a. Conservative suit.
b. Casual yet tasteful sweater and slacks.
c. Skin-tight, scarlet, fish-tail gown.

11. When I need to urinate, I:

a. Search for a convenient public washroom.
b. Hold on until I get home.
c. Squat on the lawn of the governor's mansion.

12. Rosary beads are for:

a. Praying.
b. Adding an edgy, ironic accent to home decor.
c. Inserting into my most secret of orifices.

13. I'd be so happy if my dear nephew:

a. Was successful in his chosen field.
b. Took better care of himself.
c. Turned nelly.

14. I love my spouse more than:

a. A hundred poets could rhyme.
b. Life itself.
c. The sound of bones breaking.

15. The best revenge is:

a. Living well.
b. Served cold.
c. Licking my enemy's furniture.



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