|Damage to another's sense of self is a sure sign of a totally failed flirtation. While flirting can be profoundly affirming, it can also be equally devastating. Its interesting that some of the things that get said about flirtation make it seem like stealing.||
"...Women in Cape Town come on strong. I mean really strong. They come on to you like Barracuda--rrrrraaaaa! "I've got you, and I'm not letting you go!!!"
One woman did that to me, y'know, came up to me and was saying "I want you. I want you." She started squeezing me into corners and backing me up on walls, and eventually I just told her: "Baby, even if you were the last woman on earth, I got ten fingers."
"Two things that never work for me are disrespect and humiliation. Everything else is possible... Anything that's going to persuade me that I'm less than what I am, based on what I call the classics--anything mainstream society has organized to make us feel less than. You're less because you're fat; you're less because you're Black. You know, they have like a whole list of people to kick. If you're trying to seduce me, don't strip me in some significant way. I find that repulsive, so get away from me. I don't even like to observe it."
In your opinion, is your lesbian community "incestuous" or "gossipy"?|
If so, how does this affect your flirting process?
Do you and your friends have lines that you do not cross?
Do you flirt within your own community?|
What are the joys of being with someone of your own community?
What happens when one moves between different circles of lesbians?
|What happens when flirting shuts down?
How do you stay responsive?
How do drugs and alchohol affect your flirting?
From your experience what advise would you give the you flirts of the world about "flirting safely"?
I am more concerned with how manners can be employed to cope with, or outwit, the affronts of racism, sexism, hooliganism and the terrible things which people do to one another in the name of love.