My primary goal is to make money. My dream is to demonstrate, for the ordinary guy in the street, what the Nobel laureate, Linus Pauling, showed, to the scientific community, when he organized the elements into The Periodic Table. And in the end, if a few men or women benefit from my words, I will have accomplished some good.
Fortunately, I am both interdisciplinary, and I have always loved sexual women. Maybe it is because Sally Fogarty, my baby-sitter, introduced me to the power of her vagina when I was seven years old; I have been enamored since that moment. Women, I believe, are the most important and relevant creatures on the earth. They give back to mankind and to our planet, more than they take away-at least more than men do. Precisely because I care for them so; that is the rational for these words. Critics and pundits alike will suggest that I know nothing about women. After all, Magic Johnson had sex, purportedly with over 1000 women--he must certainly know the species. I maintain that this belief is bogus; nothing could be farther from the truth. Or have you not heard the proverb about the forest and the trees?
Every time I meet a new woman, girl, female, lady, etc., in my life and I don't think that I'll be surprised, I am wrong. Being wrong has advantages; there is always a lesson to be learned. I have managed over time to learn many lessons and to from there put the 'actresses' and the lessons which sprang from them into one classification or other. I strongly believe that I have classified the vast majority of the Western female population (90% to 95%).
These words exist as a direct result of my many years of pain and growth, and my having enough confidence in the information provided to my brain from my senses of hearing, seeing, and touching, while striving to not hear or see my own prejudice. I have a penchant for the rightful organization of the wrong things; I can't organize my cheque book because I don't love cheque books, but boy can I organize what is spewing forth from women every time they walk or talk or smile or frown or.....whatever!
Most men are either too ignorant or too full of their own male ego (machismo) to wholeheartedly understand that the female species has, as one of its hallmarks, the uncertainty factor. Remember what gynecologists say about women's menstrual cycles. "The only thing predictable about menstrual cycles is their unpredictability." Acknowledge and understand, that, as it is with the biology of the creature, so it is, with the mentality of the creature. The mind and body are inseparable!
These words are only one crazy mans attempt to improve men's capacities and abilities to understand their 'better half'. The worth and accuracy of my work; I leave that for you, the intelligent and insightful reader, to judge.
There are precisely seventy-six classifications of women. I do not know them all. I have intimate familiarity with only a few of them. From these few, and by studying the trends, there arise general theories woven through funny vignettes in my life. I have intermingled it all for your entertainment, as well as your enlightenment.
For the most part, throughout these tales, I purposely fail to identify each and every female by title; [viz.--Evelyn is a heterosexual, submissive but pretending to be dominant, real fucker (the complete categories are charted for your understanding and convenience as Appendix I)]. This is done so that after having completed the stories, you will have the opportunity to go back over the material, and thus obtain the personal satisfaction of being able to classify each female in my world.
Practice on me! You will soon be able to perfect what you have learned, and without your even recognizing it, you will subconsciously start to apply it in your life and in your world. That is the power of the mind! You will win!
Finally, the most important advice: Right now! Here! Today! This instant! In order to win, you (the protégé) must give up the need to be right!
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