My wife is a telephone slut and I love it ! Her babbling to an array of fools, who are paying a fortune to telephone sex line operators, makes her aroused. Then I come home from work and we have a wonderful time; a legion of male voices has certainly made her juices flow. I'm not advocating that you and your partner do the same. I'm merely suggesting that in the final few years of the twentieth century mankind must become more flexible and adaptable, shifting to new and emerging technologies in order to maintain the balance between the chaos of all of the many new choices predicted by John Naisbett - Megatrends, and the loneliness and despair at being left behind in another world.
Because I was born before 1950 I can't help but have in me a certain "after WW2 "mentality, and as such I find the whole idea preposterous and humorous, but at the same time I'm bright enough to know that I can't help but be prejudiced simply because of the year of my birth. Psychology tells me that my formative years (between the ages of 1 and 8) shaped the beliefs and behaviors that I am prone to and which I exhibit today. Little wonder then, that a remedy for the alienation of the family unit of the nineties, would to me appear to be plain silly. When I grew up most family units were not yet fractured and hence this 'telephone sex business' and other 'medicines', such as 'lap dancing' had not yet been invented or discovered because the disease we haphazardly call the "breakdown of family values" had simply not yet been identified or for that matter acknowledged. Divorce, Sex, Affairs--these words were still considered shameful.
Nevertheless phone sex is here to stay ! Witness the number of weeks the novel "Vox" was on the New York Times best seller list in 1992. The novel or more accurately the novella focused on one outstanding phone sex encounter; it is superb reading, made more enjoyable because it can very easily be read at one sitting.
Evelyn has now been hooked on phone for about 3 years; approx. 5 hours/week from the start of November to the end of May, so she spends about 150 hours on phone each year. I would call her an authority. Her conclusion is noteworthy. "Usually the eye doesn't see what the ear hears." On the phone it's: mysterious, adventurous, tantalizing, as well as anonymous. At first sight a large dose of reality descends; just as the monstrous flakes of dandruff fall from between the few sparse hairs on his misshapen ugly head.
Listen to exactly what she hears before she presses 3 to go on to the next lonely man who is willing to pay to fish in this poorly stocked pond:
- "Answer this question and you get the kiss of the day..."
- "Cruising the line...just thought I'd like to talk..."
- "This is Sunday night...it's laundry night..."
- "I'm wearing a diaper..."
- "If we go for coffee, I'll bring the cream, if you know what I mean..."
- "My favorite number is 88...I ate and you ate..."
To see what lies on the other side we bought some time on the male callers' line and I proceeded to try it:
- "I'm Tanya, 25, blond, intelligent, well bred, an actress, and I'm looking for a couple where the lady is bi..."
- "My name is Christina, I'm 31, with 44 double D breasts...I'm breast feeding... I want to talk dirty..."
- "This is Kerri, I'm a young 43, single mom, with 2 sons...I read Stephen King novels...I went out on a fixed up date...It turned out to be a swingers club..."
- "I have to go to the Finch subway station sometime this afternoon between 2 and 3...I'm looking for a man who likes big girls for some casual sex in the men's washroom at the subway station...I'm a queen size lady...I weigh about 315 pounds..."
Are all of these people sick? I don't think so. The vast majority of them are quite normal. Sexual release and satiation, like all other aspects of our lives, have evolved to become a multitude of choices. To this, plug in Evelyn's rule.
When you've got nothing, you turn to anything.
Masturbation, Fetishes, Prostitution, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism (the proverbial peeping tom), Pornography, Sadomasochism, Flagellation (they call it English), and a legion of others; these are only a few of the choices for a person who has been sexually abandoned. Most people are, of course, responsible actors in the drama which ultimately led to their abandonment; whether they are willing to admit it or not is a different story. But that is a topic for a different chapter. Merely from a utilitarian point of view, if there are more innocuous and harmless choices, like phone sex, available amongst this array of options, then the chances are substantially decreased that one of the more socially unacceptable ones like incest will result.
Consider also, the very real situation of, say, the randy woman whose husband can't or won't service his needy partner. Hollywood would have you believe that she will find both happiness and lust fulfillment in the arms of either Richard Gere or the 'well-endowed handsome grocery delivery boy.' In the real world we know that this is fantasy. On the phone she will get to pass messages and chat almost totally anonymously with as many men as she chooses for as long as she likes without any commitment save her time; on the other hand she can take it just a little further or go wild if she desires. She is in complete control, and it's all free for her !
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