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If Trinis made movies: I know what you did last dry season-(summer) Four prayers and a puja
(funeral) Men in brown (black) Bawl & Bawl 2
(scream) There's something about
Primatee (Mary) How to kill a corbeau
(mockingbird) Panorama (titanic) The truth about
pothounds and pitbulls (cats and dogs) Republic day
(Independence) Trinidadian werewolf in
guyana (american werewolf in paris) Biptee, the soucouyant
slayer (Buffy) Rumble in the beetham
(Bronx) Lethal cutlass 1, 2, 3
&4 (Weapon) Meet raj kumar (Joe
Black) Street pipers (fighter) Rubbing wood, men in speedos
(Robin Hood, Men in Tights) Big stone (the rock) Shanty town of angels
(city of...) Quiero ali's doubles
(Yo quiero Taco Bell) Driving miss Mavis
(Daisy) Pointless (Clueless) Nightmare on frederick
street (Elm Street) The manicou king Saving ryan's privates
(Saving Private Ryan) Seven years in toco
(Tibet) Ramesh and
drupatee(romeo & juliet) Puff (gone with the
wind) My father the
draincleaner (hero) Home Alone 2 - Lost in Mayaro (New York) Basdeo's Advocate
(Devil's) Fried Green Baigan
(Tomatoes) One flew over the
Corbeau's nest (Cuckoo's) Chadee's List
(Schindler's) The PNM Strikes Back
(empire) The Silence of the
Goats (lambs) The Untouched-Doubles (Untouchables) Breakfast at Hosein's
(Tiffany's) Twelve Corbeaux Maxispotting
(Trainspotting) Escape from Guerra
Island (Alcatraz)
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1. are engaged 5
years or more 2. never bother to
divorce, they just separate 20+ years 3. are late to
church, work, and everything else EXCEPT when the club is free before 10 4. refer to
diabetes as 'SUGAR' 5. are strapped w/a
posse at their own wedding in case an 'ex'shows up 6. wait for movies
to premiere at the $1 movie 7. are proud of
their drunk uncle in his leisure suit w/ a sash around the waist 8. practice 'shout
outs' at a graduation ceremony 9. show up at
weddings, showers, graduation, birthday parties w/a new outfit on w/ nails
and hair done offering you a 'raincheck' on a gift 10. in relation to #9,
they eat like dogs and take a plate home 11. spend $20 worth
of gas to pay bills instead of mailing them
off 12. consider
'clubbing' as a monthly expense 13. have at least 1
relative who will always have a jerry curl 14. leave bills
(instead of insurance money) behind for surviving relatives 15. borrow money
for a wedding and live in an apartment 16. have mothers
who can use curse words and religion ALL IN ONE SENTENCE. e.g., "Lord,
give me strength because I'm 'bout
to knock the sh*t out of this child!" 17. remember
historical moments by R&B hit singles such as COMPUTER LOVE, KEITH
SWEAT'S MAKE IT LAST FOREVER, ETC 18. swear that the
Korean lady at the flea market gives them the best deals! 19. have at least 1
uncle that "almost went pro" playing basketball 20. spend the
insurance money on everything EXCEPT getting the dent fixed. 21. invite
co-workers and all of their friends to their child's 1st birthday party which happens to
have a professional DJ w/ only about 3 kids (including the child) in attendance
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Bill walks into a
bar and sees Bob sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile
on his face. Bill says
"Bob, what are you so happy
for?" "Well Bill, I gotta tell
ya... Yesterday I was out waxin'
my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a
redhead came up to me... tits out to there, Bill,
tits out to here! She says 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' I said 'Sure you
can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way
out, Bill. I turned off the key and I said Its either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim,
Bill, she couldn't swim!!" The next day Bill
walks into the bar and sees Bob sitting at the end of the bar counter with a
bigger smile on his face. Bill says
"What are you so happy about today Bob?" "Well Bill... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out
waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me... tits out to here,
Bill, tits out to here! She said 'Can
I have a ride in your boat?' 'Sure you can have
a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Bill, way out much further than
the last one. I turned off the
key and I said 'Its either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim!!, Bill, she
couldn't swim!!!!" A couple days pass
and Bill walks into the bar and sees Bob down there crying over a beer. Bill
says "Bob, what are you so sad for?" "Well Bill, I
gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out
waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up
to me...tits WAY out
to here, Bill, tits WAY out to here. She says 'Can I have a ride in your
boat?' 'Sure you can have
a ride in my boat.' So I took her way
out, Bill, way WAY out... much further than the last two. I turned off the
key, and looked at her tits and said 'Its either screw or swim!!'. She pulled
down her pants.... She had a dick,
Bill !!! She had a great BIG dick!!! And Bill, I CAN'T
SWIM,.
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Donovan was on his
death bed. His wife Puncie was maintaining a vigil by his bedside. She held his fragile hand, tears ran down
her face. Her praying roused him
from his slumber. He looked up and his
pale lips began to move slightly. "Mih dahlin
Puncie," he whispered. "Hush mih
love," she said. "Rest.
Shhh...doh talk." He was insistent. "Puncie" he said, in his tired
voice. "Me have someting
me hafa confess to yuh." "Yuh have nothing
to confess." replied the weeping Puncie. "Everyting alright, go to sleep
mih love." "No, no, me hafa
die in peace Puncie, Me sleep wit yuh
sister, yuh cuzin, yuh best friend and yuh
mudder." "Me
know," answered Puncie, "dats why me poison yuh."
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Did you hear the one about
the Rasta who went to visit an old friend of the family? His knock on the
door was answered with, "A who dat?" He promptly
replied, "I and I, Jah Rastafari, King of Kings, Lord of Lords, Conquering Lion of
the Tribe of Judah, Son of Selassie I." The person inside,
scared, and trembling like a leaf, replied, "A me one dey
yah an mi nah open de door fi so much ah oonu."
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There was a New Brunswicker, a
Nova Scotian and a Newfie on death row. The Warden gave them a
choice of three ways to die (1) to be shot, (2) to be hung (3) to be injected
with the AIDS virus. So the New Brunswicker
said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom!!! He was dead instantly. Then the Nova Scotian
said, "Just hang me." Snap!!!
He was dead. Then the Newf said,
"Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They injected his first shot and he
fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and
wondered what was wrong with this guy. Then the Newf asked
for another shot, so the guards obliged, and now he was laughing so
hard he almost was peeing his pants. So finally the Warden
said, "What is wrong with you?!?!" The
Newf replied, "You guys are so stupid .. I'm wearing a condom!!!"
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